Guns put a roof over our head and food in our stomach.
They were just a normal part of life. My dad was a gunsmith, so I absolutely grew up with guns. We lived in a really rural area. Firearms were ingrained in our lives.
When I was 18, I was at my first year of university and started to have struggles. I came from a very small rural place. All of a sudden, I was in a big city around people with very different lives. It became a little unmanageable with the workload.
I started to self-medicate.
I was failing classes. I saw a doctor, and he told me that I was depressed. I had gotten myself into some financial issues. And then there was some fighting with my family. Everything was sort of piling up, and I couldn't find a way out. I felt like I was worthless.
One night, after I had an interaction with a friend group that didn’t end well for me emotionally, I decided in that moment that the solution to all my problems was to end my life.
I spent a long time looking for my father's handguns, but I couldn’t find them. So, I continued drinking and left my house. I woke up miles away from home, but still alive.
In the morning it was almost like I was reborn.
I changed my name and started going by Donna-Marie, because I truly believed that Donna died that night. And Donna-Marie was born with the knowledge that, “Wow, I’m alive.” I got some help, some support, and it worked.
I’ve never had a second attempt. I've been super grateful for every day that I’ve had since.
I graduated top of my class. I had three jobs in three different countries. I married my husband of 22 years. We have three teenage children. I’m in graduate school now. I get to live with purpose and meaning and that's because I got that second chance.
But the real important part is that if I had gotten the handguns, I would have died that night.
I still have access to firearms. I love shooting. But my guns are stored in a gun safe, unloaded with a cable lock. The key to the cable lock is in a separate location to the safe. The magazine is in a third location and the ammunition is in a fourth location.
Because, if you had asked me the morning of my attempt: Hey, Donna-Marie, are you having thoughts of suicide? I'd say no.
I wasn’t having thoughts of suicide until I was having thoughts of suicide and, within moments of those thoughts, I was acting on it.
If somebody has access to a firearm, the process is so quick and you’re not thinking rationally.
